May 27, 2015
I Questioned My Ability To Be A Mom
My story all begins with a decision my husband and I made about three years ago. We were brand new parents and he was active military. He had received orders to be relocated across the country for 3 years of recruiting duty for the Army. For a number of different reasons we decided he would geo-bachelor for his assignment while I remained back in NH with our core family. It was a difficult decision, one we felt was best for our circumstances at the time.
I received my first key from one of my best friends, STRENGTH, shortly after my husband departed for Michigan. As a new mom left to support the household, my career and my son my strength was dwindling by the day. Although I never considered myself weak the depths to which I needed to dig to find the strength to get through each day was, at times, unimaginable.
I questioned my ability to be a mom, a wife, a caregiver. Was I strong enough to do it? Did we make the right decision? Over the years, long weekends and holidays have certainly taken its toll. The strength I gained with one small reminder helped me get through it all.
So now comes the time to pay it forward, and remarkably the giver is now the receiver. My best friend who was the one to gift me with STRENGTH is now in need, in much greater need than I. Her mother, diagnosed with terminal brain and lung cancer, is dependent upon her. Her life flipped upside down in one brief moment.
Perhaps one of the most giving and loving people I know is now in desperate need to find the STRENGTH to help her mother die. And so I gave it to her, I passed along the STRENGTH she once gave me in hopes it served as a small reminder. A reminder that her strength is never really gone, it is found in those around her, her friends, her family, and her mother who left this world with grace and dignity all because of the unwavering love of her daughter