I knew right away that I needed a key that said "Let go." A concept that I have struggled with for as long as I can remember, and the solution to all of the struggles, battles, and heartbreaks I have had to endure.
I think the beginning of my life started not too long ago on August 10, 2015, and it took a suicide attempt for me to see that I am in control of what I let affect me. That sometimes, all we really need to do is just let go, and let life happen. Ask anyone close enough to me, and they'll tell you that this is not the Megan they know. Hell, I think this is the first time I have ever written the words "suicide attempt" for anyone to read, and the first time I have really come to grips with the situation. I allowed it to get that bad. I watched myself begin to spiral at such fast speed, that not even I could stop what was happening so fast. I lost myself within a love that was destructive; an addiction that was completely consuming; and a thirst for whatever alcohol I could get my hands on. In other words, I felt pain, but never long enough before I could find something to numb it. I never once stopped to think about how this lifestyle could not, and would not, end pleasantly. I never once stopped in general. I was careless, carefree, spontaneous, and ultimately, reckless. Mix these characteristics with a few shots, and a couple of my demons, and all you will have is a girl who just wanted somebody to talk to, yet kept it all in.
Fast forward to August 10, 2015- my silent cry for help was heard, and I got the wake up call I needed. Since then, I have remained sober, and I have started going to AA. I am in the process of rediscovering myself, and loving who I am. I have purchased my own website so I can eventually help those who just need someone to talk to, and I have finally started to see that there is no point in hanging on to pain, when it feels so much better to just... Let go.