I grew up in a dysfuntional household, with a father who ditched when I was a child and a mother who never saw me for who I am. Growing up has been difficult, teen years seemed easy in high school. I thought I had life down-pat, but I was wrong. Graduating high school brought on new worries, fears, and insecurities. I was terrified to move on from my younger life because I didn't want to end up like my parents, broken and bruised, and refusing to step forward with life.
We have a group of four of us friends, and in the beginning, B and I weren't as close. The past two years I have struggled with handling a college university, while also being mentally, physically, and emotionally ruined by an unhealthy relationship. My issue with tackling life is that I can't seem to let go of what holds or breaks me down. I believe it is because deep down, my fear of letting go of things derives from my father letting go of me so easily.
For some reason I stayed with this guy, and honestly I think maybe somewhere inside of me I believed that it was the love I thought I deserved. That was all I had ever seen, broken relationships. But also, I know I stayed because a part of me DID BELIEVE that people do change, and that I could change somebody's world.
Failing a million times, B was my rock. I decided to give her the "STRENGTH" key because what ever life brings her way, her strength overcomes it. She became somebody I could truly trust my life with. Somebody that I could let all my anger and pain out on and know that it wouldn't scare her away. That my past or my present would never scare her away. She was the one to pick me up when I was down, not only her but her family too. Her family easily became my own, and I didn't even have to ask for it. She is somebody I look up to, and her strength is something I admire.
It made me think and realize that, I don't have to change somebody's world.. she has already changed mine.
