December 17, 2015
Hopes to Restore
In April 2012 my daughter Lily was born. I had no idea what to expect or how I was going to get through it. I originally made an adoption plan for my daughter, because her dad didn't want to be involved in her life. He was scared & left us. Him & I never dated but there has always been something about him that I felt so strongly drawn too. The day I had my daughter, I watched her leave with the adoptive couple I found. I wanted so badly for her to have a loving family with a mom and dad who were together and loved each other and loved her. I thought I had found my answer. God told me otherwise. A few short weeks later, I found out that the open the family and I had originally agreed upon was going to come to an end so I took her back the day after Mother's Day. 6 months had passed and I was tired of not getting any kind of help from her dad. Neither of the guys parents knew, or girlfriends knew. They weren't there to help Lily or I. I was fed up. So I told Kevin he needed to tell his parents and girlfriend or I was going to. He didn't, so I did. Then he demanded a paternity test. Of course it turned out to be that Ryan was the dad and not Kevin. So he wanted to help me. But didn't want to be there for our daughter since he was thoroughly convinced he couldn't ever be a father. I prayed everyday for him to come back and want to be a father to Lily or for God to bring another man into Lilys life to fill that void. 2 years later, my prayers were answered. Ryan came back into the picture and he started to get to know Lily. We hung out a lot, ended up dating and then shortly after we broke up because he wasn't happy. I believe that it's because he isn't a Christian. I've been praying passionately and fervently for God to rock his world and save him. I got him a strength giving key so he's reminded of the strength he has as a father in his weakest moments. And I got myself a giving key that says hope because of the hope I have that God with restore my family one day.