COURAGE: to learn to live again. June 2014, my 5-year-old son sits on my lap as we watch his older brother graduate high school. A trying year of lack of studying, lack of getting to school on time, lack of coming home on time ever, lack of pride in himself, and an abundant amount of drug usage. Three days later, my husband left us. Four months later my son is arrested, his only other option would have been the morgue. My uncle died of lung cancer, my 102-year-old wonderful grandmother passed away, we had to say farewell to our furry companion of 10 years and, amongst all this, I wasn't so sure I had any strength left.
I sure know getting out of bed was the last thing I wanted to do, but my young one needed me to. I bought my key to remind myself that I am, in fact, immensely courageous. At times, I felt broken. I felt it hanging over my heart and would focus on COURAGE.
Now, October 2017, my 8-year-old is a bit too tall to fit on my lap, though somehow he does, and my older son is living a life of sobriety, putting his pieces together as only he can do for himself. And I know, without a doubt, I have the COURAGE to stand strong in the face of whatever life launches in my direction.
A good friend called me recently telling me two of her siblings had been arrested. Both are addicted to drugs, both have their own families, and both lost their children, totaling to 5 children now placed in foster homes for adoption. I spoke with my friend on and off for a couple weeks and, without a doubt, she is courageous to stand strong through this. Sometimes we all just need a little reminder of that. I know she'll wear it well and pay it forward herself.