My word for the year was “trust," and it’s definitely been a year of trusting… But not in the “10,000 revelations of trusting” that I felt like I was supposed to have. I had friends all year remind me of my word during certain situations, or just ask me about what it was teaching me. My biggest thing with trusting this year was learning and believing that Jesus trusts ME! That changes everything. It reveals more and more about how much He loves me (and you). I mean, the God of the Universe, the one who is big enough to know everything about anything, yet small enough to know each thing about me, trusts me. He trusts me with His heart, His hands, His feet, His mind… We have been given Christ in us. God trusts us. Even when we mess up, we get endless chances to be trusted again. That, is good news.
I also bought a Giving Key around this time last year that had the word “trust” engraved on it. By the time December was almost over and my key hadn’t been given away yet, I felt a little sad, and selfish. There were probably several people I could’ve given my key to throughout 2013. My laziness, coupled with doubt that I had truly mastered this trust thing enough to pass on my key, kept it hanging from my car’s rear-view mirror. So, one day as December drew to a close my mind was swimming for a whole two minutes with who I could give my key to. I know plenty of people that I could pass it on to, I love doing things like that! But, none of it was just right… the timing and all that. And then, I think God spoke, or whispered is more like it, but all in the same it became very, very clear. When her name popped into my head, I knew it was her. I knew it had to be her. She was moving the next week to another state. And yes, of course. Trust.
This little encounter happened in the car, so as soon as I got home I rushed to my room and started writing her a card. I didn’t know what I was going to say, but the words just kind of flowed out and threw up all over the card. I wish I could say it in a prettier way, but that’s how it happened. I cried and I wrote, and I cried and I wrote. Apparently I had a few things that I hadn’t had the chance to tell this lovely friend. So once I finished crying and writing, I dropped my key in the envelope and placed it in my purse on the off-hand chance I would see her at church in the morning. I almost sent her a Facebook message asking if she’d be there, but I decided I would just let fate, I mean God, do His thing.
If I didn’t see her I planned to just send it in the mail. But like I said, I’m lazy. And there were a lot of feelings inside that card… that would be easier to leave in a forgotten drawer than deliver. But, indeed God did “His thing” and she was the first person I saw as I walked into church the next morning. Because of course she was. (That never happens. I hardly ever get to see her at church!) And then I find out it’s her last Sunday in Abilene, and at our church, before they move. Because of course it is. Who knows when I’ll have the privilege to see her in person again. If I’d had the bright idea to bring her the key one Sunday later, she would have already been gone. God knew. Because of course He does.
It was truly the perfect way to end my year of trusting. A final little leap of faith that ended so beautifully.
Thank you 2013, and Summer, and Jesus.
-Carlee
