For a very long time (since the giving keys began) I wanted a key. I just didn't know what word to put on it. Over the time between then and December 2012 I became unwell. Not physically though. Mentally.
It took a long time for me to accept that I was ill. I have since been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, general anxiety disorder and OCD. All three manifested physically as self harm and bulimia.
In October 2012 I was at a party and confided in my friend Cordelia. It was her who convinced me to get on the road to recovery. She supported me through it all. However I was some what reluctant to seek the professional help we both knew I needed in order to get better.
In the December of that year I began to accept that I needed help. I began to accept that the reason I didn't want help is because I was scared. I was scared of what life would be like without my illness to hide behind. I had lived with it for so long. Cordelia would always say "be brave. Have courage". So, when I got my key, I chose the word "courage".
I wore this key everyday without fail. And pushed myself to get help. Things began to get better for me, but Cordelia began to miss a lot of our final year of school. Over time I began to piece together that she was suffering the same way I did for so long. I then became her rock. By May we were both on the right track.
On June 1st I sadly lost my mother but my key reminded me to be brave. I used my courage to read at her funeral and continue with my final year exams.
Then in August after receiving results I gave Cordelia my key. She needed the courage more than me. I had a plan and back up plan in case I became unwell again. For the first time I had a plan for the future. She didn't. I feared for her health.
She the decided not to go I university that September but to travel, she went to Australia and faced some battles but I know she faced them with courage and bravery and pride and still wears the key today.
Yes I have struggled with my mental health over the last 10 months since passing on my key but I know that it helped someone I love find it within themselves to find strength and make one of their dreams come true.
