It was probably close to three years ago that I first heard of The Giving Keys - I ordered my key right away - GRACE. For as long as I can remember, people have praised me for my quiet and graceful demeanor, and I always accepted these compliments graciously. Ironically, I've never felt this way inside; instead always feeling like a mumbling, bumbling idiot that can't quite get anything right! Rage was all around my heart because outwardly I seemed one way and inwardly I felt another. Writing it seems silly - how flawed our own thinking can be.
I knew Grace was what I wanted most in my life, so Grace would be the key I held close to my heart as a reminder that Grace is all around me and most of all, inside me. For years I took this word as a mantra in my life - thinking it was a stillness and silence that I yearned for inside me. It was not until I found a man that was so wrong for me, but so right in that he stirred the beast inside me, and all of a sudden I found a voice that had been silenced for far too long.
For so long, I thought Grace was quiet and submissive, and meanwhile this whole time she's been powerful, divine, and all encompassing.... Grace is truth, Grace is every living moment. Grace is you standing in your own power. It wasn't until I found my truth, and my voice that I was able to reconcile every emotion, thought, or word I had suppressed for so long believing that if it wasn't dainty, it wasn't Grace-filled.
My girlfriend, whom I met around the same time I was figuring out what Grace truly meant in my life, turned out to be the recipient of my key. This wonderful, bold, beautiful spirit of a woman taught me what it looks like to stand strong in your beliefs, and how to unapologetically let the world know who you are.
We all have our demons... and her demons are big. I shared my story with my friend and I passed along the key, with all the faith in the world that she will discover what Grace means to her. I have faith that Grace will supersede her demons, just as it did mine.
October 09, 2014