A fighter Is What I Am


September of 2014 was an exciting month for me I just found out I was expecting my first baby and the first grandchild on both sides. We were all so excited for this new journey in our life. Little did we know the next five months were going to forever change our lives. The evening of November 17th I ended up in our local ER after two weeks of being sick and not being able to even hold down a sip of water. Within a few hours and a few blood tests the ER doctors decided they couldn't help me and I needed to be transferred three hours away to Stanford Hospital. The next week was a whirlwind of emotions. Disbelief, shock, anger, confusion, death all flooded my mind. Four days of being at Stanford, blood tests, bone marrow biopsy, MRI's, x-rays, five teams of doctors and no one knew what was wrong yet. With my blood platelets dropping to 13 they had to start treatment for what they narrowed down to TTP. Thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura is a rare life threatening blood disorder. My case was 1 in 25,000. Not knowing what this was and being 12 weeks pregnant I was scared for my baby boys life and my life. After starting treatment my symptoms and blood was improving. After seventeen days in Stanford Hospital and a lot of fighting for my health and my baby's health I was ready to move across the street and start outpatient treatment. I was so excited to be able to be released and on the road of recovery and excited for the next week to have my second trimester ultrasound with my new high risk OB! My mom and I went into the appointment so excited to see how Logan is doing and how he's growing. Stanford is a teaching hospital and this clinic was part of Stanford so the resident came in and started the exam and said everything was looking good, let me grab your mom for the ultrasound! My mom came in and so excited to see her grand baby. Logan wasn't moving which is abnormal for him he was always bouncing around, something was wrong. Why isn't my baby moving? The resident told me with a concerned look I will be right back. I knew those words. My baby was dead. The doctor came in and started examining my baby. Those words came, "there is no heartbeat." Disbelief flooded my mind. How could this happen after everything I just went thru in the hospital? Why God? I thought for sure Logan and I would survive this and be able to share our story about how we both survived such a rare deadly sickness. God had something else planned for me and for Logan. Logan was needed in Heaven and I can't wait for that day til I get to meet my baby boy. During this whole stay in Stanford I was so excited to be close to Sacramento to be able to go to the Jesus Culture conference! I knew after all this I needed to be there! There is where I heard about The Giving Keys! I knew I needed to get one and I found my key right away, FIGHT. A fighter is what I am. I was so excited to be able to wear this word. Everywhere I went everyone would ask whats the key about. I was excited to be able to share what my key meant with so many people and so many different nurses at Stanford. After a few months of having the necklace and embracing this word, I found someone else who has gone thru TTP. After talking to her via email for a few months and hearing everything she is going thru I knew she needed the word FIGHT. I am so excited for this relationship with her and for her to embrace her word that she is a fighter. I just got my new necklace, HOPE ! I fought thru TTP and now its time for Hope in my life. So excited for this new necklace and to see how God uses this word in my life.