Living Without Fear

First, let me be perfectly honest and say that I was not ready to give up my key, but, that is how the story begins. I purchased my key, after seeing them on some younger women at Athens Church, in Athens, GA. I went to Epiphany to buy one. The store was a light because of its mission, and I ended up trying to get a job there. You see, I’ve been going through a divorce for four long years. All the while searching for a full-time job. I raised two beautiful women, both of whom have graduated with Bachelor's degrees from esteemed four year universities. One teaches and has a family, while the other is going on to earn her Master's degree as a Nurse Practitioner. That was my career, and I was good at it, but, it doesn’t fit on a resume. In the past year I have recommitted my life to God, and began trusting him to provide for my future. Up until three months ago, the job search had been futile, first interviews, with great encouragement only to be sent a dry email of rejection. One of the last series at church before I bought my key was about living with out fear. When I went to the store I stood for close to an hour trying to choose. I wore Fearless proudly, even calling my small group in email "fearless females." We are all divorced. During our group someone shared a struggle they were going through, and God instructed me to give her my key! I quietly looked down and said to God, “But God, I'm not fearless yet!” As I listened to her story I realized what God was asking me to do. Give my strength away, give away what I was holding onto. So I told her it was a loan because truthfully I am not fearless. But she is facing so much more than I am right now. She wore it the day she shared her baptism video with our church, and she was so panicked about being on stage, but she wears it now remembering that God does not want her in a controlling relationship where blame is always centered on her. Yes, I am not fearless but the one who made the world holds me in the palm of his hand. Ph-4:13 & Surrender