In 5 years, we lost 4 babies. Pregnancy after pregnancy, we got our hopes up and our hearts crushed. It's a silent battle, this infertility thing. Those of us in this "battle of wills" just suffer quietly through social media, at baby showers, and during the holidays when we have to ignore the little Christmas stocking we thought we'd surely hang that year.
I received a giving key this year from a sweet friend who had just started her journey down the same heart wrenching path - etched with the word FAITH. I was encouraged by her plight and also by her generous gesture, and I was quick to reassure her that I would share this with someone who is venturing down the same road... once I was ready.
Well, here I am. 30 weeks pregnant. With a little boy. He has a heartbeat, fingers, toes, and a name!!! Yes, a name. Wow. I gave my key to another friend who is starting treatment in January. I see too much of myself in her. "The mountain is too high. I'm not strong enough to do this. What if it fails? I can't handle the heartbreak." Let's just say she found this key to be as reassuring as it was for me.
Tomorrow is my baby shower. I've waited years for this day. I purchased 5 keys for my hostesses with the word STRENGTH on each one, just to let them know that I found strength in the wind that they filled my sails with, when I just didn't think I had it in me.
Thank you for the inspiration, and for inspiring others to give, give, give.
Patrick, Andrea, and Baby Benjamin
January 01, 2015