April 23, 2015
With Incredible Reluctance She Took The Key
Since I got my key (FEARLESS), I have done things I normally wouldn't ever have done. I left the job I had been at (unhappily) for four years, I chopped over 8 inches off of my hair, I got a second (planned) tattoo, I went on dates with people I never would have seen myself with in a million years, and I made a plan to move to another state and start a new life. I had done things. I had made it a goal to BE my key's word.
From getting my key to making plans to move to another state, I knew I was going to give my friend Sarah my key before I left. I knew it. You know in your bones when something is going to happen. You just... know. Well, I just didn't know it would be today.
Now, I haven't moved yet. I don't plan on moving for a couple more months, but tonight... tonight Sarah needed it. Let me set the story here...
We had been at a bar, and Sarah was pretty... lit... to a level of happy-giddy-I'm-hilarious levels... we begin to reminisce over people we knew in high school, and who's married, and who has kids, et cetera. You've been there. We've all been there... and still go there. Well, she finds out that another estranged friend of ours is married. This comes after finding out her childhood best friend is engaged, another work friend of hers is engaged, a family member just recently passed away, and family members are changing things in their lives. And she can't help but feel she's in a rut.
Not even realizing I'm doing it until I'm holding the tiny piece of metal out to her, I had just offered Sarah my key.
She protests. Saying things like "you weren't going to give it away just yet! You had plans for this! You plan things! You need to hold on to this."
But all I could respond with was "you need this key more than I do right now. You need to try something new. You need to step out of your comfort zone, and do something crazy for once. Be fearless."
With incredible reluctance she took the key, and pocketed it, talking about how she needed to pick up chain at the mall tomorrow when she went into work.
I truly, honestly, one hundred percent, hadn't planned on giving my key away today. I really, really didn't. I plan things. I make sure things are set right before I do something. But today, I really feel as though I've done the most fearless act I can possibly do... dive head first into something without a personal reminder that it's okay to do it, or that I can do it. It just so happened that I needed to give my key away to really be fearless. I just didn't know it.