I Grabbed It Immediately – The Giving Keys
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I Grabbed It Immediately

Two days after Christmas I was in New York with my boyfriend and his family. My mom called me mid way through the day telling me we had to talk when I got home, that something serious had happened. I wondered all day what was going on, only to find on my Instagram feed a list of photographs with the captions reading "R.I.P, Jeff." I immediately called my mom in tears and asked if it was true...my dear friend Jeff, who was only a college freshman, had killed himself the night before.

Jeff suffered severe depression just about all his life. He was too smart for his own good, and felt extremely lonely all his life due to his mother being bipolar and never paying him much attention because she was too caught up in struggles of her own, and his father constantly favoring his successful older sister. All of his girlfriends seemed to leave him for somebody better, leaving him to feel utterly stranded at a dead end road.

Having suffered for a long time with depression myself, I knew what it was like to lack the HOPE for something better. I came across the giving keys in a small store in my local downtown, and saw the the key with HOPE sprawled across it. I grabbed it immediately in honor of my friend Jeff, and all those who suffer depression. Luckily, I have yet to find someone who is struggling enough to need this message. However, I am looking forward to giving away my key of HOPE to someone else, in HOPE of keeping them from making the same mistake my friend Jeff did.

For all those suffering, know that there is a way out of the dark hole you seem to have fallen into. The latter up to the sunlight may not always be there, but sometimes you've got to have the HOPE and strength to build your own. There are many others on the bottom of the hole with you, ready to lend a helping hand in finding a way out, myself included. Have HOPE.

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4 comments


  • Thank you also. I am in the hospital actually right now for an eating disorder and I also have depression and high anxiety. I have contemplated suicide multipul times and attempted it unsuccessfully. Earlier today I wanted to try again as these thoughts are often. Before I had always talked to one of my teachers but I cannot anymore due to teacher student relationships being a no no. Also ealier today I recieved from one of my friends the key “fearless” and at first I thought maybe fearless in the sense of not afraid of dying( in a bad place ) and then later I realize that fearless should mean not afraid of going forward in life without someone always holding my hand and even though we cannot talk being a fighter for my teacher because I know that if she could call me she’d tell me to keep fighting and not be afraid of recovery or eating or talking to my doctor. Also I’m sorry about your friend

    Carmen on

  • Thank you also. I am in the hospital actually right now for an eating disorder and I also have depression and high anxiety. I have contemplated suicide multipul times and attempted it unsuccessfully. Earlier today I wanted to try again as these thoughts are often. Before I had always talked to one of my teachers but I cannot anymore due to teacher student relationships being a no no. Also ealier today I recieved from one of my friends the key “fearless” and at first I thought maybe fearless in the sense of not afraid of dying( in a bad place ) and then later I realize that fearless should mean not afraid of going forward in life without someone always holding my hand and even though we cannot talk being a fighter for my teacher because I know that if she could call me she’d tell me to keep fighting and not be afraid of recovery or eating or talking to my doctor. Also I’m sorry about your friend

    Carmen on

  • Thank you also. I am in the hospital actually right now for an eating disorder and I also have depression and high anxiety. I have contemplated suicide multipul times and attempted it unsuccessfully. Earlier today I wanted to try again as these thoughts are often. Before I had always talked to one of my teachers but I cannot anymore due to teacher student relationships being a no no. Also ealier today I recieved from one of my friends the key “fearless” and at first I thought maybe fearless in the sense of not afraid of dying( in a bad place ) and then later I realize that fearless should mean not afraid of going forward in life without someone always holding my hand and even though we cannot talk being a fighter for my teacher because I know that if she could call me she’d tell me to keep fighting and not be afraid of recovery or eating or talking to my doctor. Also I’m sorry about your friend

    Carmen on

  • I just wanted to say thank you for thinking about those of us who struggle with depression and anxiety. I don’t know you personally but felt touched that you bought a “Hope” key knowing someday you would be able to pass it along to someone like myself struggling with depression. I know it will help the person you do meet and give it to. I wanted to also encourage you to have the courage to give it to that person when the time comes and to explain your story, as sad as it is, it can help others when you share.I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for keeping others in need in your thoughts and prayers.

    Mariesa on

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