2011 had to have been the worst and greatest year of my life. Why bad? Winter of 2010 my dad was emotionally abusing me, my mom, and my brother. He would go out at 7:00 at night and not return until 2:00 in the morning. He would come home drunk, screaming at my mom. This went on for months. I had completely lost all hope. I lost some friends that I should have kept close during that time and I lost my relationship with Christ. So January swings around and the pain is just unbearable. My brother had lost hope and thought that leaving this earth was the only option. So, early-mid january, my brother had a suicide attempt. If you haven’t been through suicide, I want you to know that it is the worst heart pain I have ever been in my entire life. Thankfully, The lord was watching over my brother and his like was not taken. Then May of 2011 swings around. I am not over the suicide and extremely depressed.
Then June of 2011 my life was changed for forever. I met someone I will never forget. I met someone who completely changed my heart. I met someone who has become the main part in my healing process. I met someone who helped seal my relationship with Christ. I met my saving grace. I don’t know how to describe her heart. He beams God’s light and his goodness. When I’m sad, I know she’ll always be there. When I feel lost, and I feel like and I can’t be part of this world, I know she will always be there.
So school starts and October swings around. My dad becomes very depressed because of all the regret he is having. October 24, 2011 my dad swallowed about 400 pills. I am 14 years old. I have been through 2 suicides. I felt alone. I felt like I needed to die. I can’t even describe the pain I felt. Then, the one thing I remember about that day was Nicole being there for me. That was the hardest I have ever cried in my entire life and she knew exactly what to say. If Nicole wasn’t there, I don’t know where I would be right now.
I titled this Hope in Future because January 17 Nicole left to study for 1 year at Hillsong International Leadership College in Sydney, Australia. I had the giving key “HOPE” I gave my giving key to Nicole because she taught me that there is Hope. No matter what we go through God has a plan. He doesn’t do anything to harm us but to only prosper us and to give us HOPE. Nicole had mentioned when she came home from college she didn’t have a solid plan. Nicole, I want you to know that God has a future for you. And in that future, there is hope. Your dream is to serve the Lord and serve others. I believe, and know that you will accomplish it. You have touched so many lives. It’s such a comfort to me to not only call you friend, but call you sister. I am so happy that you are part of my life and part of my story. I will love you forever and forever.