My Goal For Myself

Pure Mind, Pure Heart, Pure Soul

I am 16 years old. I first watched pornography when I was 8 years old. At first it was accidental... Ads came up on my computer all the time. Then, it was intentional. From the first time I watched it, I was plagued; mentally, physically, and emotionally. I was broken, in a sense. It became hard for me to treat my dad and brothers like actual human beings; because of the videos, I now saw them as harmful men, instead of the ones I grew up loving.

I kept this to myself, and prayed for God to give me a solution. When bad things would happen to people I knew, I'd blame it on my addiction. When I was 14, I knew I had to make a significant change, because if began effecting my daily life and relationships with men. I got my Giving Key in the summer of my eighth grade year at school; I chose the word "Pure", to represent my goal for myself. I promised myself that as long as I was wearing the key, I would not watch these vicious online videos. 

About a year later, my friend at church told me about his struggle with porn, not having any idea that I had gone through the same thing. I broke into tears as he told me about the depression, anxiety, and other health problems his addiction caused him. At the time I was wearing the key, and before then I had never explained to anyone what it stood for. I told my friend about my battle with the addiction, and told him the story behind the word "Pure". It came from Psalm 51:10, "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."

I took off my beloved necklace which I had worn day in and day out for 2 years, and put it around his neck. We prayed together, and meet every Friday for coffee to support each other amidst our worries.